to be or not to be is actually a question.
you are about to enter the disturbing realm of pretenders where everyone have to be a hypocrite to ascertain what they are made up of. clearly, everyone are born with their unidentified aptitude and in order to find out we just have to use the experimental way: trial and error. however, if you are caught in your disguise, that'll be the end of your pretension. instead, when you've found out what you're really in for, that cover will become your skin. and you are what you are.
i'm not making this up to make anyone a paranoid fearing human contact. i'm merely stating the reality in a simple and cruel way. making a suggestion in an explosion of idea.
pretending is a skill to be obtained from numerous experience. anyone can pretend. sometimes you can't become what you dreamed of, to cure that painful heartache, you can just pretend. let say you wanted so much to become a really, really rich person who own chains of megamall all over the world, just pretend you are and act like it's the real deal. pathetic, yes. remedy, yes.
but
don't ever make it too obvious for the naked eyes to see. people will certainly and unsuspectedly think you're crazy. if i'm there, i'll say get a room at tanjung rambutan. pronto.
when you pretend and feel happy about it and really think that you are making money [always talking about money] (i have a big financial problem, ignore me), the opportunity will come your way one day and the money printed out for that day onwards might be printed out specially for you. yeah, you figured it out. this is what the book titled "the secret" says. i didn't read it but i watched a program talking about it. i think it's somehow true but i won't put my faith in it. i believe in hard work and sweat. if you want something bad enough, go for it. moping around growing fungi on your ass won't do you a thing. that's what i think. and from now on i'll go for it.
happiness equation
IT= money=rich=happiness
Sunday, December 28, 2008
a myriad of thoughts
29 December 2008
countdown to new year's eve (A.D) and i'm currently renewing my resolutions for the year. as expected, nothing came out from my completely-blank-but-still-processing brain. i had gone through a lot this year and i think i had only aged a year to regret the wasted precious youth on something worthless and acquired only considerably miniscule amount of thinking. i scorn the idea of hating myself but now i could not help myself but unleash a great sense of regret. especially after i met a lot of friends who happens to be more enterprising and productive in multiple ways.
unfortunately, i let myself loitering around these magnificent creatures and didn't even make any proactive actions reciprocating from their good qualities. why? why can't bring myself to start working on something. i am not special at all. i can't write stories, i can't sing, i can't remember anything in less than 2 days of constant pressure and worst of all i can't contain my anger. YES. Anger management is the worse of all the unsettled turbulence of emotions in me. quite a few of my friends advised me on it nevertheless, no actions taken, my anger become somewhat like an uncontrolled pet monster on the loose, running amok through my veins. i knew this all along because if there's one thing that i am proud of, i'm proud of my great power of self-realization. however, even if you had a great sense of self-realization paired up with slothfulness, you'll end up doing absolutely nothing.
it does give me a stampede.
the resolutions of the year should be...--> act your thoughts!!!
i will be extra careful on what i think and i will be even more careful to determine the course of actions as the result of my great thinking.
now, now.. this reminds me of something. last year, when i was in Form 5, i remembered Madam Ramlah asking the class about what we did during the holiday and as usual there was a deafening silence (obviously, everyone was 180degrees on their comforters)... and she guessed right, most of us sleep a lot. but one guy came up and said, he did a lot of thinking. Madam Ramlah praised him a bit and continued our english lesson and then she asked whether everyone had done their homework or not... everyone did except the boy who did a lot of thinking. when asked, he said, "i was thinking about how to get the correct answers, that's why i haven't finnished it".
i hope i'll remember this always..
p/s: i'm going back to Kedah 1 January 2009
countdown to new year's eve (A.D) and i'm currently renewing my resolutions for the year. as expected, nothing came out from my completely-blank-but-still-processing brain. i had gone through a lot this year and i think i had only aged a year to regret the wasted precious youth on something worthless and acquired only considerably miniscule amount of thinking. i scorn the idea of hating myself but now i could not help myself but unleash a great sense of regret. especially after i met a lot of friends who happens to be more enterprising and productive in multiple ways.
unfortunately, i let myself loitering around these magnificent creatures and didn't even make any proactive actions reciprocating from their good qualities. why? why can't bring myself to start working on something. i am not special at all. i can't write stories, i can't sing, i can't remember anything in less than 2 days of constant pressure and worst of all i can't contain my anger. YES. Anger management is the worse of all the unsettled turbulence of emotions in me. quite a few of my friends advised me on it nevertheless, no actions taken, my anger become somewhat like an uncontrolled pet monster on the loose, running amok through my veins. i knew this all along because if there's one thing that i am proud of, i'm proud of my great power of self-realization. however, even if you had a great sense of self-realization paired up with slothfulness, you'll end up doing absolutely nothing.
it does give me a stampede.
the resolutions of the year should be...--> act your thoughts!!!
i will be extra careful on what i think and i will be even more careful to determine the course of actions as the result of my great thinking.
now, now.. this reminds me of something. last year, when i was in Form 5, i remembered Madam Ramlah asking the class about what we did during the holiday and as usual there was a deafening silence (obviously, everyone was 180degrees on their comforters)... and she guessed right, most of us sleep a lot. but one guy came up and said, he did a lot of thinking. Madam Ramlah praised him a bit and continued our english lesson and then she asked whether everyone had done their homework or not... everyone did except the boy who did a lot of thinking. when asked, he said, "i was thinking about how to get the correct answers, that's why i haven't finnished it".
i hope i'll remember this always..
p/s: i'm going back to Kedah 1 January 2009
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